Things have definitely been changing in the last week I have been in Milwaukee. On my way up here I had a lay over at the Chicago Union station. During that time I was asked to join a conference call that was work related. It was mandatory to join in. When I dialed in the folks on the call began referring to a power point presentation that I myself didnt have and couldnt see. Supposedly this showed the company savings and growth with the upcoming changing.

Growth! Hell yeah, thats what Im talking about. Ive been anticipating a time when Id be helping some english guy with his email, password, or what have you whenever London development come along.

Savings? Thats got to be a bad word. Especially when its being heard by an employee of a dept that for years has been considered a leech on the company. My dept doesnt bring in any “income” for the company. Savings was a bad word for me.

To get to the chance about 40 people will be “Negatively” impacted by the upcoming change that takes place in 90 days or less... maybe more, who knows.

They called it “co sourcing”. What it really means is it's a euphemism for outsourcing my job to the Philippines or Ohio.. depending on the way things fold out. There is a big cost savings by my company “co sourcing”. In other words, they keep the intelligence, but ship the actual work out to someone else. Yeah, thats cosourcing I suppose, but while they say cosourcing, they mean outsourcing. No intelligence is being retained at all. My entire dept. Gone.. 90 days. 90 days from whenever 90 days begins. I dont know. I have to get details on this later.

I learned this at the chicago union train station. I got onto the train to Milwaukee nearly half way through the conference. At the end we were told to speak to our director to determine if we were impacted... I called my boss (dont know my directors cell) and I told him I had just seen two deer – while the train was going, we had just passed two does just as he had answered. This had to be a good sign, eh ? I asked the question if I had a job. He didnt know anything than what he had just learned on the conference call just as I had. He said he had some ideas and I could hear some worry in his voice.

I got to the train station, gave Ralph a huge hug and a kiss. I love him. I cant recall our initial words, from the beginning of the end of that conference call to now my mind has been split in multiple directions not knowing where it belongs.

I got to the house and my director had called me. Yes, I was impacted. I have 90 days till the end of my job. Then I get a severance package. The package is quite nice, but just like I passed up a $28k buy out I would much rather have my job. Through all the mergers my company has taken good care of me. I was loyal to them. I thought they were loyal to me. Bean counters don't see loyalty as a line item though. Wish it was. Between that line item and infrastructure intelligence I think I'd still have a job. Neither are something they consider.

Im not sure what happens from here. Im on the train as I write this as I await more reality to set in. Ralph, Bobbie, and I had a great time. The mental time that was split between my thoughts of my vacation and the news of my job going overseas have been at ends with one another. As I write this, I believe it can clearly be seen which side of the split has more attention. My new family has done an excellent job of helping me from having a complete break down. I love Ralph and Bobbie.

My trip was great when the thoughts of my side lined breakdown is taken out of the factor. I stay well distracted from reality. Mirror lake continues to be a fabulous image in my head. I think I could sink to the bottom of that lake and be in ecstasy til the moment my last breath was utilized.

That lake deserves it's own posting. Bobbie realized how much I enjoyed sucking in the awesomeness of the lake. He took me to the lake a 2nd time.